I'm not going to join in the all-out JJ-non/bashing, although it does make for an interesting read, however I will say that I don't believe Abrams is the best director on the planet, as I find his vision on film making somewhat limited.
As far as storytelling goes, XI wasn't particularly great, exciting at first as a concept but when analysed I believe it feels more like an intro than a stand alone story. Whether the films are liked or not, TUC and Gen, I believe had the best story concepts, they were interesting, had twists and turns and generally kept interest. I don't believe XI stepped up to that mark, nor showed much depth, which is why I don't have much will to watch it again.
I think from what I've read and understood from peoples opinions from many, many different places, is that XI is so far from what has been known previously that people struggle to find a common ground with both of them, not just in narrative but it technology, special effects and generally accepted science of the show. I understand that it's a re-boot, and everything is open to change, but I believe even a small pull-back of the changes to leave something a little more familiar for current fans may have quelled a lot of the rejection that's being seen.
When it comes to my own opinions of the new films, if the history of something is going to be re-made/changed then it must be an exceptional story that cannot
be done any other way, otherwise you might as well have translated it forward and preserved the timeline that was already there. XI, I believe could have easily been translated (with the understanding that characters motivations, etc would change.), and it would have made a better story. Always move forward, I believe.
Anyway, since it's already been done and the question is seems to be more about meshing the two universes, I feel more at ease knowing that it is very separate, where that point diverges is the only thing that causes me grief as I don't believe it's laid out very well in the film.
As for the official chronology of it all, I actually find all the contradictions and little errors quite an interesting read, and I don't think it would be half as interesting if it was perfect. There's so much information out there that is as a result of these sorts of things, that I'm really not sure what I'd be doing if I didn't have it all to rummage through.