Ugh. Explosions, boobs, quips, and absolutely no compelling story to be seen. Michael Bay would be proud. Another mindless, souless action movie for the transformers fans. I didn't expect anything else from the biggest hack director/writers around, but I would have thought that they would have atleast tried to hide the fact that they're blatantly trying to copy Bay's style so much. Seriously, even if I had seen nothing but the woman in a bra and panties, i'd have had efinitive proof that this movie is total crap only made for the people who keep making Michael bay money. It sucks that they have to drag a decent actor (Cumberbatch) down with the ship. Also, I'm calling it now. enterprise hits the earth a terminal velocity, gets repaired with in a week and is back in space, because the JJ Prise isn't a wimp like that puny Ent-D. It has the power of hacks behind it, a little thing like hitting a planet isn't going to stop the lensflares.
Your sarcastic post is right. Thats all that old lame trek was, it had absolutle nothing good about it. It survived for over 40 years because nerds suck. All the compelling stories and good characters was holding it back. Real trek needs
-Absolutely no story outside of a reason for special effects or lensflares. We wouldn't want to teel a good story. Thats for nerds.
-No dialog that isn't a sexual reference, quip, or brainless exposition
-Horrible Actors who make the characters into unlikeable jackasses with no redeeming qualities
-SEX SEX SEX! Because if it doesn't have boobs every few minutes, its not "mature". Adults need boobs to be entertained, and lots of sex. Nothing compelling has ever been made when you keep the shirts on the women. A movie without boobs isn't a real movie
-Explosions, because the only thing better than boobs are explosions.