I'm just posting to say I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I never meant to. After the first respone to my post, I should have just bowed out of the conversation. I truly believe in equal rights for everyone, so if I stupidly offended anyone, I apologise. I overreacted to both a part of a story that I honestly dislike mostly for the fact that it took time away from the main story and the reaction to what I posted. I have a bad habit of responding without thinking enough sometimes, and after spending a lot of time thinking about it I can see where a lot of the response to my post came from, and even agree it was unfair of me to totally write off Keru in the book. I'll defind my opinion, even if it is a bit weird in retrospect, as not being because of prejudice so much as being an ass and probably reading more into the book then I should. I was speaking honestly earlier about my enjoyment of other characters like Willow or Batwoman and their relationships, and my support of things like gay rights. I guess something about this particular book just set my off. I don't think its a predisposition against anyone, maybe I'm just so used to "diversity for the sake of diversity" stuff that I sometimes see it when its not there. Honestly, I thought about this whole thing a lot yesterday, it really troubled me for most of the day after my last post. On reflection, I see where everyone else was coming from and looking back the stuff with Keru was mostly just having to do with him being a security officer and widower. So, again, I apologise if anyone was offended. If this apology makes me seem like I'm backpeddling or something, I can't convince you otherwise. I just wanted to say that, on reflection, I was wrong, atleast about that part having an agenda. That from this post what you will, but I honestly just wanted to make up for being an idiot and then just compounding it as I tend to do when I get worked up.
Fair enough. Just speaking for myself, I accept your apology, and I'm glad you see where we were coming from on this.
For what it's worth, I know from experience that sometimes it's easy to fall into an offensive frame of mind without realizing it. Yesterday on Facebook, I shared a quote from Bob Marley that said something to the effect of, "If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing." I was being sentimental and didn't give much thought to the second sentence -- and I totally got called out for it by a friend. "Way to demean sexually liberated women."
I thought about it, and I realized -- she was absolutely right. In the midst of being sentimental about the idea that an amazing person's heart is difficult to win, I went along with the idea that "too much" sexual activity is automatically a sign that something's wrong with a woman in some way. And I didn't even give the idea more than a second's thought. I fell into a misogynistic mental trap and I demeaned women's sexual agency. When I realized this, I apologized to her and deleted the image.
Which, by and by, is just my way of saying: It's easy to fall into the traps that privilege (be it male privilege or heterosexual privilege) lay for us as part of the system. Remember, these are mental systems of control, and they're trying to control those who benefit as much as those who are oppressed. And we need to be called out on it when we fall into those mental traps, into those mindframes. It's the only way we can grow and evolve. You needed it yesterday -- and I did, too -- but it doesn't have to define us today.