I very much enjoyed your story, jespah
It's great to read a story placed in the Trek universe that acknowledges the idea and the reality of religion. Trek is generally such a religion-free universe. Sure, we get occasional hints of spirituality here and there. DS9
had a good representation of that thorough the Bajoran people, but Human culture especially seems to be completely removed from religion. People even seem proud of themselves for having distanced themselves from it. At least that's the impression I got from Picard's speeches. And I think that's a little arrogant and unrealistic. I loved Archer's speech (I am very happy to get a glimpse of Archer's life beyond the end of the series, by the way!) about Earth's history with religion because it touches on two things: the part where religion went wrong and created death and dissension, which is also probably the side that "canon" Trek Humans are denying, and the positive side of the coin - religion as a unifier, an instrument of education, a giver of comfort and ultimately a way of finding common ground.
I loved this particular part: "We have set aside our internal differences, but we also celebrate them. We have not forgotten them. And we feel, truly, that they should be celebrated rather than swept aside."
This of course is in line with the Vulcan philosophy of IDIC, but the fact that it's spoken by a Human and in reference to religion - a subject that has been cause for conflict exactly because of people's failure to tolerate difference - enforces the very idea of overcoming differences both at home and out there, in space. That's very Trek, and it's a much more mature attitude towards religion than canon Trek has demonstrated.