The possibly radical opinion I've formed on this (in a thread last year sometime) is that the reset performed by TWoK in reaction to the unsuccessful aspects of TMP was so complete that there was no refit. That is, the TWoK Enterprise is simply the old TV-series Enterprise as it would have looked in the 1960s had there been the budget for it. This, of course, fits with the vessel being sufficiently used-up to be judged a candidate for the scrap heap in TSFS.
In this framework, all efforts to position TMP chronologically before TWoK are futile. Kirk isn't back at a desk job in TWoK after captaining (admiraling?) the Enterprise in TMP; why would he be? He wouldn't - in fact it's the same desk job at more or less the same time point. (The only relation to any past event is given as "15 years after 'Space Seed' ").
I always felt that TWOK was a rebbot of the movie franchise and they wanted to ignore TMP. The rest of the original cast movies all flow from TWOK and since the events of TMP are never referenced it could easily be omitted from personal continuity.
I do like TMP though. But its style is so different from the rest of the original cast movies is another reason it could be ignored if one chooses.