Hello Captioners! This is gonna be one for the books! Between the normal awards, special awards and the one time only awards for this week, it's gonna be an awardapalooza in here! Captain, give the word.
First up to the plate, we have the "Scary Universe" Award, going to:
: But in the early 21st Century, Nobel Prize Winner Jenny McCarthy warned us all of the dangers of vaccinations!
: Wow, your reality is really
messed up. Perhaps you should just stay in this one!
Next, we have the "Missed the Point" Award, going to:
Jonas Grumby wrote:
"Mr. Worf, I am sure you will be pleased to know that Lieutenant Ogawa's body temperature is now reading a perfectly normal 98.6 degrees. Thankfully, her condition of being 'incredibly hot,' which you mentioned to me in the corridor, was apparently a temporary abnormality."
Next, we have the "Alternate Reality" Award, going to:
Crusher: Captain, The Pegasus is approaching...
Worf: Weren't you assigned there once?
Riker: *nods* I shot Pressman when he tried to cover up an accident. God knows how many tragedies I averted that day
Batting Clean up, we have the "Racism, Much?" Award, going to:
Ln X wrote:
Picard: The spoonheads serve Starfleet?
Next, we have the "Senior Tour" Award, going to:
Ship's Best Betazoid Lay, ages 30-35. I can't believe it.
Do not worry, sir. There is always next year. You will be in another bracket.
Next, we have the "Temporal Investigations" Award, going to:
CAPTAIN'S LOG: Day 9295. The time-travel experiment remains a great success; the inhabitants of this era continue to treat me as if I'm this Patrick Stewart.
The Photoshop Award, goes to:
Picard: "I'll ask one more time. How many d-.."
Riker: "There are..... FOUR PICARDS!"
Data: "Commander, I believe there are actually five..."
Riker: "Did anyone ask you, tin man?"
The Multi-Picture-Caption Award, goes to
Doctor stop it. You're making me angry.
Calm down, Worf. This'll just take a second.
You won't like me when I'm angry...
You can see here where the hypospray was inserted. Death would have been slow and painful for her.
Do you have anything to say for yourself, Lieutenant?
I warned her she wouldn't like it.
[beat of uncomfortable silence]
So, since no one said anything about it, I take it I can keep the coat.
Captain's Log Stardate 47685: We've just encountered an alternate Enterprise where that bearded, pie eating dim witted sex maniac actually made Captain. Sucks to be them.
Captain's Log Stardate 47685: We've just encountered an alternate Enterprise where that bald, cowardly frigid French git is still Captain. Sucks to be them.
Data: "Mr. Worf, would you clear up a matter of Earth's 21st Century history for me?"
Worf: "I'll try."
Data: "According to the great pundit David Letterman, Jorge Bergoglio, who we now know as Pope Francis, had previously been a relief pitcher for the Yankees."
Worf: "So what's the big deal?"
Data: "I have done some research, and there is no way Bergoglio could have been a Yankee."
Worf: "Why not?"
Data: "Because he was a Cardinal."
Nerys Myk wrote:
DATA: As you can see, Spot keeps changing breed and gender.
Herkimer Jitty wrote:
"Does something seem different to you?"
"I think Wesley did something different with his hair."
"Yeah, that must be it. Ah well, back to work. Set a course for Earth. Death to the Federation."
Whoooo! Okay, 12 awards from a single contest, that's gotta be a TrekBBS record! Many thanks to all who participated and congratulations to all of our winners!
With that, we have completed our special 300th contest celebration of going through the seasons of TNG! Had a great time with it, I hope you did too.
And now, we Caption!