Everybody should do what I do and just choose their own canon.
But what you're talking about is continuity
. As I already said, it's a mistake to think that "canon" means "continuity" or "what is real." Canon means nothing more than the core material as distinct from derivative materials. It's not a matter of individual opinion. Your personal continuity
can include a mix of elements from the canon and elements from outside the canon, while excluding others. But a personal preference is, by definition, not a canon.
By analogy, think of canon as like a continent and personal continuity as like a country. The United States is a country that includes some, but not all, of the continent of North America, and includes one state and a few territories that are not part of the continent. Russia is a country that includes territories that are part of the continents of Europe and Asia, while excluding other parts of both continents. A country is not a "personal continent" -- it's something different from a continent. While the two can overlap to a large extent, they are not synonyms.
The show contradicts itself so many times that trying to argue there is any "official canon" is pretty pointless.
Only if you make the mistake of equating canon with continuity. What you are talking about is continuity. Canon is what is official by definition.
Thankfully JJ Abrams had the dignity to remove his own story (Minus Romulus destruction and vanishing Spock!) from the Trek canon without me having to.
He put it in a different continuity
. But it is part of the canon
, because it is a Star Trek
production owned and distributed by the studio that owns the franchise.