The first time Spock and Kirk meet in the 09 film, Spock confronts Kirk about him cheating on the Kobayashi Maru test.
Spock indirectly suggests that Kirk was so careless, reckless and so seriousness that he couldn’t even take into account the fact that his father lost his life trying to save hundreds of people.
Basically to Spock, Kirk was an embarrassment to his father’s legacy.
However in the scene where Kirk yells at Spock for not loving his mother. Spock gets mad, has a serious meltdown and nearly kills Kirk.
Spock is obviously angry that Kirk is insulting him by throwing his dead mother at his face. However (mysteriously) it seemed like Spock had completely forgotten that he had done the same thing to Kirk earlier in the film.
Hypocrisy much?...On Spock’s part?
Basically both of them played the dead parent card on each other.
Maybe Spock took it harder since his mother slipped to her death right from his fingers.However it still does not change the fact that he used Kirk's dead dad to publicly bash kirk's character.