, I've been there too. We moved my mother first into an assisted care facility that was wonderful, until her dementia and other medical issues became too much for their staff to handle. The nursing home we ended up choosing was not the most modern, nor was it the best maintained. There were scuff marks on the floor and some of the paint was pretty worn, but the staff was made up of the most incredibly caring people I've ever met. I used to visit mom at different times, and stand outside her room and listen while a staff member was in there - they spoke so sweetly to her and were very gentle with her care. Mom no longer knew who I was at that point, and visits were hard, but at least I was confident that she was where she could be helped.
I don't envy you this task - but it's good to know that you're not alone.