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Old March 1 2013, 03:36 AM   #27
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #270: The Immunity Caption

If you run across a bunch of angry Swedish lacrosse players - you haven't seen me!

Uhura: Message from Starfleet Command, sir. We're to divert to Viagara IV for an emergency -

Kirk: Conn new heading two-seven-three mark thirty-six! Warp nine engage. Doctor we need stimulants for the crew, stimulants! Chekov prepare shuttle for departure at oh-three-hundred. Bridge to Spock, prepare for away mission Code Blue Orangutan, repeat Code Blue Orangutan.

Spock: Affirmative, Captain. I will make the necessary modifications to the field research equipment.

Kirk<Sitting, hits shipwide>: This is the Captain. Emergency stations. Let's look alive people! Standby.

McCoy: Sick bay to bridge, what the devil is - I'm a doctor not a, not a -

Kirk: Roulette marble. Sit tight, Doctor. Spock will be along to collect you and a few specimen jars. Bridge out.

Sulu: Captain the heading is taking us around a dark matter cluster with anomalous neutrino spikes playing havoc with the subspace navigational array -

Kirk: Refraxillate the duotronic capacitance in the lateral field emission grid. Rotate subspace variance to oh point three eight gigahertz and get Mister Scott to schedule a level one diagnostic before the warp coil feedback burns out auxiliary circuits.

Sulu <madly pressing buttons>: Aye, that's doing it captain. Warp nine, sir.

Kirk: Nice work Mister Sulu! Steady as she goes! Yeoman - coffee! Folgers Crystals! Hot! We're Starfleet officers, dammit!

Uhura: - diplomatic mission.
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