I just don't know where to begin. I have to take her car away, I have to figure out a place for her to go, I have to figure out what to do with her businesses, I have to get control of the rest of her finances (she gets really confused and misspends and falls for scams), I have to keep my uncle from interfering and trying to steal more of her money, I have to do it with limited assets, and I have to do it all from 3000 miles away. I just don't want to make any mistakes, and I'm so overwhelmed I don't even know where to start.
I just started a job in a senior retirement community. I am also in the process of getting my Mom into one. If you have any questions or need any insights, feel free to ask.
I did a quick search on our company website. Unfortunately, our closest facilities to her are in Wilsonville, Oregon and Portland, Oregon.
Regarding the car and the businesses, the first thing you should do is to talk to her doctor and a local lawyer in Seattle. Her doctor will have the ability to have the state of Washington revoke her license. The lawyer will be able to deal with the divestiture of the businesses.
There are also real estate type firms that handle the sales of businesses. You might consider looking into those.
In my mother's case, I found a local company that specializes in assisting people with finding senior living communities for themselves or for their loved ones. They will take you out to the facilities, allow you to tour the facilities, and point out options that you might not have considered. Most of these companies are free to the consumer (they are paid a commission by the communities)
You also need to file paperwork to get yourself a Power of Attorney quickly. If you don't get this done, you will not get much of anywhere doing anything else. It's a headache, but it is necessary.
You should be able to reimburse yourself for any expenses incurred, including the cost of flying out there and looking at homes if there is money your grandmother has available. Keep all receipts.
As to the homes themselves, research online, look for any forums or reviews. Just adding "review" to a google search will show you a lot of stuff that doesn't normally come up. Once you've got a list of possibilities find out if they have waiting lists.
Both are good points. With the expenses, they may also be tax deductible if you have to pay out of your pocket.
Tora Ziyal wrote:
But in the meantime, do you know whether she needs actually nursing care or just assistance with activities of daily living (ADL's)? That will help decide where she should go, because not all facilities offer all levels. Once you have a few places in mind, you're going to have to go out there and visit them.
This is a good point. Before you go out to Seattle, you need to ascertain exactly what level of care she needs right now.
Something else to consider is the fact that if her mental condition is deteriorating, she will have to eventually be moved up in level of care. What you have described here indicates that this may already be starting. In order to save yourself the hassle of flying out there again in a few months to find another facility, you should give consideration to facilities that offer multiple levels of care.
Also, Tora Ziyal
is correct. Once you have a list of facilities, you will have to go to Seattle in person to look at them. Unfortunately, there really is no way around doing this.
Edit to add: I just checked the website for the comapny we have been using and found out that they have an agent in Seattle.
This is a link to their website: