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Old February 28 2013, 11:06 PM   #1
Deranged Nasat
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Location: ...But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man's clothes.
Over-dependency on friends and relatives

Good evening, everyone. I have a personal matter I'd like to work through - nothing major, just something that's been unsettling me, and that honestly needs a bit of attention - and I wondered if anyone here might be able to advise. I mentioned this offhand in another thread but now I'm thinking, why not just start a thread about it specifically?

So, the issue in short is my relationship with my sister, and the sense that I've been overly dependent on her, emotionally, as a friend.

For much of the day, I've been in a strange, rather gloomy mood in which I just felt really unsettled and nit-picky, and I'm pretty certain I've worked out what's been prompting this. Yesterday, I got back from a trip to France to see my sister, who is studying there for the year. I had a great time, but I find that I'm not dealing too well with an inevitability that's finally making itself apparent: my sister has moved on in her life and my expectations for how our relationship works have become increasingly unrealistic. I've seen her as my closest friend, and I've been rather foolish in clinging to that while she's been off making a life. I was under no illusions, of course, that I needed her more than she did me, but my poor reaction to the sense that she isn't as invested in me as I am in her - which is no fault of hers; as I say I was the unrealistic one - has forced me to confront the fact that I placed too much importance on her, and I wasn't letting our good relationship evolve naturally.

I'm wondering - should I actively speak with her about this, or should I just make the changes in my perspective without bringing it up?
We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile, and nothing can grow there. Too much, and the best of us is washed away.
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