Thread: Old Folks Homes
View Single Post
Old February 28 2013, 08:58 PM   #4
thestrangequark
Vice Admiral
 
thestrangequark's Avatar
 
Location: Brooklyn
Re: Old Folks Homes

^How did you go about looking for her home? I don't know where to begin! I wonder, though, how different things are here.

Mostly I want to know about how to find a good place for her.

Thanks, Gaseous.

Unfortunately, she cannot live with any of her children or grandchildren. She and my grandfather were horribly abusive to my mother and two uncles (like nearly beating them to death and forcing them into child prostitution abusive). Most of it was my long-deceased grandfather, but there are obviously tensions between my grandmother and my mom. One of my uncles has had a retraining order against the family since before I was born, he's out of the picture completely. The other uncle embezzled over a million dollars from her and doesn't really care what happens to her -- he is in and out of the picture, but I would like to keep him out. Just to be clear, I love her, and my mom loves her. She's a horrible person in a lot of ways but a good person in ways too, and someone who made a lot of mistakes and tries to atone for them...at least sometimes. For better or worse, we feel we have an obligation to her.

But she also can't stay with any of us. It's too emotionally traumatic for my mom to be around my grandmother too much, and with my mom's disabilities (caused by the abuse), she's not really physically capable of taking care of her either. So, I need a home of some sort. I want her to be somewhere where she'll be happy, somewhere with privacy, but also lots of opportunities to socialize (she loves being with people and gets lonely easily). Somewhere where she can maintain the level of independence she is capable of -- and she is capable of some.

I just don't know where to begin. I have to take her car away, I have to figure out a place for her to go, I have to figure out what to do with her businesses, I have to get control of the rest of her finances (she gets really confused and misspends and falls for scams), I have to keep my uncle from interfering and trying to steal more of her money, I have to do it with limited assets, and I have to do it all from 3000 miles away. I just don't want to make any mistakes, and I'm so overwhelmed I don't even know where to start.
__________________
thestrangequark

The Enterprise is my TARDIS.
thestrangequark is offline   Reply With Quote