I thought the Internet was for porn, fanfiction, and the inevitable crossover of the two.
So that's the "writing" that you've been doing, huh?
In all seriousness, I know you've shared your story with me before but I still appreciate you being open enough to share it with everyone here. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a loved one like that.
I'm dealing with being the third wheel nowadays which is so annoying because for so long my friends were single and I was with someone, and now I'm single and they're all coupled off. I still have faith in relationships, but having a cat is always an excellent plan as well.
Well, to sort of tie in to your What are you working on Thread, I've recently realized how self destructive I've been in the past, granted nowhere near the levels of others with more severe problems, but still hindering my own growth and progress...so I'm working rectifying that and trying to moving on. No longer keeping everything bottled up and being honest with others as well as myself, particularly in sharing what I've hidden in the past, is part of that process. At least it's part of the process I've set up for myself.
Whether or not it leads to eventually being able to handle an actually relationship with someone, I don't know. But I do know that I no longer want to feel down and sorry for myself when I see other couples together.
Being the third wheel though is an odd thing, particularly when it's with a larger group of couples and particularly when the odd man/woman out, is single by choice. It creates some sort of weird social dynamic were the other couples are thrown off balance because of the one single person, regardless of the other people there. As I mentioned earlier, for me it's not weird...I'm not the one that has that feeling of being a third wheel unless I'm actually the third wheel with two other people and they've invited me along out of some sort of obligation or pity. The rest of the time, I just want to be around my friends. Any feelings of weirdness are on them, at least from my perspective. Maybe it is awkward for them. I don't know. Either way, I wish it didn't get in the way as much as it does. Stupid social etiquette.