Archer was pretty rude to T'Pol in the pilot. But she was a tool of the Government that had oppressed them, which supports your point. The Vulcans weren't banning emotion, which is something they would have done if this had truly been an invasion, but this was about making sure that the human experiments with antimatter didn't turn out like on the Friendship One planet form Voyager. They felt responsible for humanity because they admitted that they existed.
In Breaking the Ice, Archer was bloody nice to the Vulcan Capitan hosting dinner for the first half of that meal.