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Old February 20 2013, 02:56 PM   #19
Triskelion
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Re: TNG Caption This! 305: I, Caption



Riker: Alien vessel! I am Commander Ugly-Bag-of-Mostly-Water, this is Captain Darmok-and-Jihlad-at-Tanagara, Counselor One-Moon-Circling, and Lieutenant Prune Juice.
Troi <whispering to Picard>: It was just a dare!
Worf <grumbling>: "Lieutenant Prune Juice?" I would kill him where he stands - if he were any other man.
Alien: Uh, nice to meetya, kthx. <ship pulls away>
Picard: Thank goodness I don't have to stand beside Captain Pectoralis from Planet Latisimus Dorsi IIX.




Picard: I want your opinion on the color of the carpet.
Troi: Why me, exactly, Captain?
Picard: Commander Riker said you were an expert on trimming -
Troi: I'm going to stop you right there, sir.
Picard: Sorry Counselor. It's not my fault. You see, the Borg implanted me with a microchip.
Troi: No, they didn't.
Picard: Maybe it was that Cardassian, then.
Troi: Or maybe it was Q.
Picard: Yes! Q.
Troi: Sigh - Is that all, Captain?
Picard: That is all, Counselor.
Troi: <Leaves> Stop watching my rear end, please.
Picard: Q!




Picard: Well then who's Third of Five?
LaForge: Yes.
Picard: I mean the fellow's name.
LaForge: Hugh.
Picard: The guy who is Third of Five.
LaForge: Hugh.
Picard: The Third of Five Borg man.
LaForge: Hugh.
Picard: The guy designated...
LaForge: Hugh is Third of Five!
Picard: I'm asking YOU who's Third of Five!




Picard: All I was trying to find out is what's the Borg's name that's Third of Five.

Guinan: No. Watt is Second of Five.




Picard: I get behind the transport enhancer to do some fancy shooting, Tanagara's scanning on my team and a heavy engineer gets up. Now the heavy engineer shunts the plasma flow through a multiphasic field. When he shunts the plasma flow through a multiphasic field, me, being a good captain, I'm gonna shoot the guy out at base camp. So I pick up the phase rifle and throw it to who?

LaForge: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Picard: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

Data: Oh. I see what is going on here.

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