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Old February 15 2013, 07:53 PM   #1
Lance
Fleet Captain
 
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Location: The Enterprise's Restroom
Was Mister Mott the most important person on the Enterprise?

As we all know, sometimes a good haircut is the key to a confident life. I don't reckon the Enterprise-D crew would be anywhere near so willing to Boldly Go™ if it weren't for Mister Mott keeping them all looking fan-TAB-ulous all the time? Observe:

Picard: Mott keeps what little hair the good Captain has still got nice and trim at the back, while applying a liberal dose of wax to the head for that shiny-yet-sophisticated look.

Riker: Mott keeps his beard trim. Remember, in "Parallels" we saw that Enterprise from an alternate reality, where Riker's beard was shaggy and overgrown? That wasn't because he was from a universe where the Borg have taken over... it's because in his universe, Mott left the Enterprise to set up a chain of intergalactic hair salons. Result: one messed up crew and one messed up timeline. And Riker as a member of ZZ Top.

Data: Our android chum likes to claim (in "Birthright 1", for example) that he can keep his hair at any length he likes. The truth is he deliberately grows it out so he can experience the barber shop just like his human colleagues do.

Deanna Troi: Mott keeps her nicely coiffed. Before he came aboard, she was wearing frizzy eighties hair and that horrid 'bun'. 'Nuff said.

Beverly: Mott consults her on the best wig to wear each day (yes, the character wears a wig as well as the actress. Bev's just got to have just the right shade of red to look stunning in sickbay when she needs not to mistake preganglionic fibers for postganglionic nerves).

Geordi: He can't see well enough to cut his hair, even with the power of a VISOR (lest alone the Power Of HEART). Mott keeps him looking casual but professional.

Worf: Who do you think keeps Worf's wedge haircut looking just so? I expect Mott didn't put up much of an argument when Worf suggested growing it out into that ponytail in the last few seasons, though. Even a barber with a pair of scissors isn't going to argue when his customers could come back wielding Bat'leth.

What do you think? Would the Enterprise-D crew be anywhere near as effective without Mister Mott's gentle (but unappreciated) influence?
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