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Old February 14 2013, 07:56 PM   #781
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Location: Washington State
Re: They are going ahead with a Justice League movie

Guys, guys, guys... I've got it! The perfect JLA movie. I call it Justice League: Adaptation.

... JLA:A stars Richard Schiff as a washed-out Hollywood screenwriter. Years ago, he had a critical and commercial hit with an LA Confidential-like script, but he's just about called in all his favors, ran out all his fumes, and none of his increasingly morose or complex works are selling.

Then, right when he's about to lose all hope, he's hired to do a rewrite of the latest JLA script! He may not know anything about "the funny pages" strips, but hey, the previous drafts serve (he thinks) as a good-enough guide. (But since Aquaman wasn't in those drafts, we get a running gag in which, in response to people's ribbings, he gently corrects them that Aquaman's a Marvel thing, and therefore not his business.)

However, try as he might, he just can't seem to do the job, and the studio becomes increasingly fed up with his "it'll be like Watchmen, except dark and cerebral" vision. He's threatened with removal from the project. His on-again, off-again hookup decides to be permanently on-again... with somebody else. Fed up with life, and the way things are going, he decides to hang himself from his house's topmost rafter, but he slips from the stool, falls, and hits his head... hard.

But, suprise! When he comes to, he's accompanied by hallucinations of the Justice League heroes! Now that he's able to brainstorm with them face-to-face, he cranks out a killer script in no time. The studio is so delighted with it that they offer him the director's chair. Everything improves overnight; even some of his languishing/forgotten mopey scripts start selling, and he begins dating his daughter's pot supplier (Emma Watson). Everything's great... except there are persistent and increasing police reports of a man dressed as the Blue Beetle setting fire to local pet stores, and he's starting to wake up with thundering hangovers and smudged blue eye shadow.

Production on the movie continues apace, but he starts to unravel, and soon has difficulty telling apart his Justice League actors from his Justice League hallucinations. And, though his new squeeze denies it, he finds what can only be described as a reptilian molting of her skin.

At this point, he's hospitalized for exhaustion and Evan Almighty director Tom Shadyac, playing himself, is brought in. From here, we segue pretty quickly into the action-packed finale of the JLA in-movie movie itself.

(... Most of the trailer material will probably be drawn from that last part, though it could also be neat to see "finished" versions of scenes the movie shows the Schiff character working on.)

After a half-hour-long, ear-decimating battle, the Earth is saved. The White House, NASA Mission Control team and Schiff's daughter's second-grade students all hug, clap and cheer. A single tear glides down the president's cheek, and her husband squeezes her hand tightly. As the JLA exchange handshakes and meaningful nods, Batman gets annoyed at the invasiveness of the cameraman and punches the lens, taking us to the credits.

... Halfway through the CG Detailer listings, Aquaman puts on a yellow ring.

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