I think the way I originally have the first paragraph creates more suspense. Which alien race will humanity make first contact with - the Borg or the Vulcans? (In the movie, the Borg's intention is to disrupt first contact with the Vulcans.)
The order of the paragraphs was also intended to mention Picard and the TNG crew as soon as possible. And also to close the description on an enthusiastic high note.