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Old February 12 2013, 09:45 PM   #14
Timelord Victorious
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Re: Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Kestra wrote: View Post
It's a weird way to frame it. There are different things at work. Is there someone who will find you attractive? Is there someone out there who will find you compatible for a long term relationship? And implied in these is that you reciprocate. It doesn't do you any good if someone is attracted to you if you aren't attracted to them, for example.

In terms of relationships, my views are obviously changing now. I mean, I know I can find someone who wants to be with me in the short term. But can I find someone who I am compatible with who is also mature and would make a dedicated long term partner? That gets into personality traits that you need for long term relationships independent of personal compatibility issues.

With so many people in the world, yes, there is probably someone out there who would be into you (general you). But like you said, it doesn't do you any good if they are on the other side of the world. So instead, we do things to increase our chances of compatibility. You work on making yourself more attractive to a wide range of people instead of a select few. You learn to be flexible and compromise in a relationship because no one will ever complement you exactly.

You can't go looking for someone to make your life whole. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's way too much pressure. Learn to be a whole person and attach your life to another's because you want to, not because you need to.
Great post.
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