...We could always plead sexual dimorphism in the case of M'Ress. And perhaps the two cats in ST4 were females as well, despite being portrayed by male human actors?
A great difference in the size of males and females was part and parcel of that other feline TAS species, Larry Niven's Kzinti, even if very little of that backstory made it on screen. Some Trek writers may have taken their cues from that, especially the ones who wanted to tie together the Caitians and Kzinti biologically (Foster's clever novelizations for one).
I think the literature forum will be a great place for actual information on the sources you seek...
EDIT: Out of the two sources quoted in Memory Beta for the description on Caitians, the FASA Federation sourcebook seems to cover all of it alone already, including the "2 to 3 meters in height" bit. The principal writers for the sourcebook are Bernard E. Menke and Rick D Stuart; L. Ross Babcock III is the Editor-in-Chief.