My opinion on this is obvious from my previous posts but I'll extrapolate a little through personal experience. I live on Long Island which is outside of NYC but surprisingly different from. It is a very close minded area and definitely has the same view as the OP on what makes a "real man."
You can probably guess that I don't fit this stereotype although it has nothing to do with being a nerd. It has to do with the fact that, apparently, to most LIers I am a gay man. I'm not. But I guess my actions and personality make them think that. For example, I have pretty much ZERO talent with mechanical things or with fixing broken appliances. I dress very well, button down shirts and nice jeans. I also wear tighter clothing because I like the way it looks. I am artsy, for Long Island at least, and would rather talk about movies or books than sports or beer or whatever else.
I'm also a bit feminine (again, in their opinion- I don't think there's such a thing as definite feminine behavior) in my behavior. I tend to wave my hands around a lot while talking and I'm very expressive as opposed to stoic and don't have much of a "manly" walk.
Now I could easily change some of this. I've always refused as it would be a lie. But I can't say that it's not frustrating and has made it difficult for me to make friends here. Since I've been in the city more I've made a lot more pals.
I also want to add that by no means am I trying to say I have it as hard as men who are gay- definitely not true. I'm just saying the fact that I'm perceived as gay or not a real man or both has hurt me a lot throughout my life. I've tried my best to remain true to myself, though.