I'm...pretty sure they addressed that in "Afterimage", right after the opening credits....
In "Rejoined", as I recall...the "freakout" was over the re-kindling of the relationship. And who knows? For all we know, Lenara's bother was...concerned
...about his sister "breaking," due to prior incidents.
"The saying implies but does not name the effective agency of its supposed utopia.... 'Needs and abilities' are, of course, subjective. So the operative statement may be reduced to 'the State shall take, the State shall give'."