I understand what you're saying, Finn
, which is why I hardly ever did it, and felt guilty afterwards. This happened just a few times when my son was much younger, and the majority of these functions involved people who knew my son, so they knew that, once he had a meltdown, there would be no calming him down for anywhere from half an hour to an hour (he was tiny for his age, but Christ almighty, that child could scream). Mostly these were people who pretty much didn't believe my son had a neurological condition and just thought I was a shitty-ass parent, which is why I didn't want to be around these people in the first place.
Did I mention these were mostly people I'm related to through marriage?