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Old January 27 2013, 02:45 AM   #9
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Re: 100th VOY caption contest! How Harry Kim Became Promoted!

CREWMAN KIM: I don't get it. How come everyone on board is an officer but me?
MALE OFFICER: Beats the hell out of me, Harry. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a "personal" meeting in the Captain's quarters.

COMMANDER CHAKOTAY: Yes, Harry, I heard. Have you considered facial ornamentation?

COMMANDER TORRES: Harry wants a promotion? HAHAHAHAHAHA! You're joking, right?

COMMANDER SEVEN: I've been ordered to give you an entrance exam regarding your request for promotion. You will comply.
CREWMAN KIM: Really? That's great, Commander! Uh, I think.

CAPTAIN JANEWAY (watching screen): That was IT?! Sort of short and quick, wasn't it? And I mean short.
COMMANDER SEVEN: He did request a make up exam. I refused.
CAPTAIN JANEWAY: I can understand why.

CREWMAN KIM: Captain Joe, everyone's been promoted and transferred off Voyager except me! How can I become an ensign?
CAPTAIN JOE: You can start by licking my holographic boots, Crewman.

ADMIRAL NEELIX: Congratulations, Ensign Kim! I knew you'd finally get there!
ADMIRAL PARIS: It's like I told you, Harry. Good things come to those who wait.
ENSIGN KIM: Yeah. Big deal. I retire tomorrow.
Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard: For duty and humanity!
--Men in Black (1934)
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