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Old January 26 2013, 11:56 PM   #6
R. Star
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Re: 100th VOY caption contest! How Harry Kim Became Promoted!

Chakotay: We're going to attack that Kazon encampment over that ridge.
Kim: Shouldn't we call for reinforcements?
Chakotay: I'm a main character. Nothing bad can happen to me. Follow me!

Hogan: How'd you survive that ambush Harry? Everyone else died.
Kim: I curled into a fetal position and started crying like a little girl. The Kazon decided they could harm Voyager more by letting me live..

Neelix: I looked up old Indian customs and apparently we're supposed to dine on his flesh to honor his memory. And smoke lots of dope.
Paris: Way ahead of you Neelix.
Kim: Wait! That's right, Chakotay is dead! I might be up for a promotion!

ECH: In my first role as the ship's new first officer, I am to evaluate all the personnel files. It shows here that you're on pace to break the existing tenure as longest ensign. Your request for promotion will be considered.

Janeway: Promote Kim?
Seven: According to my projections his rate of whining will increase by a rate of 30% a day, until he finally does. He will be bothering you an average of 28 times a day on the issue tomorrow for example.
Janeway: Ugh, promote him just to shut him up. Give him the news.

Kim: I'm promoted to lieutenant? And you're my promotion gift?
Seven: You may service the collective now, lieutenant.
Kim: This is all a dream isn't it?
Seven: Mmm-hmm. You didn't think I'd throw myself at you a second time in the real world did you? Your wet dream will be waking you up momentarily.
"I was never a Star Trek fan." J.J. Abrams
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