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Old January 24 2013, 06:11 PM   #154
trevanian
Rear Admiral
 
Re: Now That John Logan Has Proven Himself, What Went Wrong With Nemes

Zeppster wrote: View Post
Honestly Data's death could have worked if it was done a bit better. The reason Spock's death scene worked so good is because we had a moment just before his death where not only Kirk feels his death but everyone does. It's the quintessential scene in all of Trek history. Instead in Nemesis he basically transports Picard away with no real emotion and no real goodbye. This is a character that they had built for 15 years at the time. And was the most popular and probably well built character of TNG. And his goodbye is just a look.

Again the reason it doesn't work is because they missed something in a draft.
You needed some resonance with what had gone before. In TWOK you have the scene in Spock's quarters setting up their goodbye dialog. Up front you've got Spock 'dying' in the simulator, in mid-film you've got Spock after the sneak attack doing a strange inward look, and together that lets you know when the genesis effect starts and Spock turns at his station, that his time is NOW. Somebody said everything in movies is contrived, but the thing is, this is EFFECTIVELY contrived.

NEMESIS actually has a bit at the beginning that could have anchored Picard/Data's goodbye. All you need to do is have Data echo what Picard said to him early on. Instead of "Data, shut up," you see Picard react to having the transporter thing slapped on him and start to open his mouth and Data says, "Captain, shut up" ... and Picard understands what is happening ... and you don't need anymore than that, but you've put just a moment of reflective poignancy in there to point up what is going down, instead of just pedantically shooting the scene and just expecting the audience to be moved because they're supposed to be moved (to be fair, GEN screws Kirk's demise up too, not so much in setup and payoff, but just plain failure to execute in any way that engages in the slightest.)
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