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Old January 22 2013, 03:08 PM   #6
Fleet Captain
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 69; The Slog

O'Brien prank rule #5: Pretend to be busy with something while the mark gets his food. That way he'll never suspect that you tampered with the replicator.

Odo: Major, do you realize that all these pads basically say nothing? And that your foot is on my desk?

Jake and Bashir's run at the Alamo had disastrous consequences.

The Engineer's Plight - Paperwork.

Morn's strategy for dealing with Worf - chug the rest of his drink and hope Worf wouldn't notice that it was the last of the prune juice.

O'Brien: I don't believe this...
Bashir: What?
O'Brien: Someone's made erotic fiction about us.

Odo: Unfortunately Major, I can't really do anything about this. FedChan is an anonymous site and all I can get out of them are IP addresses, none of which correspond to DS9. Whoever is writing this is either using a proxy or sending it to someone off the station to post. I'll probably have to get Federation authorities involved.
Kira: Great... How bad is it?
Odo: There's a story where I have sex with you, featuring lots of tentacles. It's apparently so popular that they've commissioned art work of it.
Kira: I wish I hadn't heard that.
Odo: It could've been worse. You could've seen the Garak/Bashir art.

Sisko: Chief, the situation has gotten worse. They've written stories about every major person on this station except the Ferengi. Tell me you and Odo have any good news to report.
O'Brien: Sorry sir, I've manually checked over all the internet connections on the station. No one is using our systems or the systems of any ships docked here.
Sisko: Damn it! What about-
Kira: Hey Dax, why is this story about Curzon getting jamaharoned to death?
*Everyone stares at Dax*
A business man and engineer discuss how to launch a communications satellite in the 1960s:
Biz Dev Guy: Your communications satellite has to be the size, shape, and weight of a hydrogen bomb.
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