O'Brien prank rule #5: Pretend to be busy with something while the mark gets his food. That way he'll never suspect that you tampered with the replicator.
Odo: Major, do you realize that all these pads basically say nothing? And that your foot is on my
Jake and Bashir's run at the Alamo had disastrous consequences.
The Engineer's Plight - Paperwork.
Morn's strategy for dealing with Worf - chug the rest of his drink and hope Worf wouldn't notice that it was the last of the prune juice.
O'Brien: I don't believe this...
O'Brien: Someone's made erotic fiction about us
Odo: Unfortunately Major, I can't really do anything about this. FedChan is an anonymous site and all I can get out of them are IP addresses, none of which correspond to DS9. Whoever is writing this is either using a proxy or sending it to someone off the station to post. I'll probably have to get Federation authorities involved.
Kira: Great... How bad is it?
Odo: There's a story where I have sex with you, featuring lots of tentacles. It's apparently so popular that they've commissioned art work of it.
Kira: I wish I hadn't heard that.
Odo: It could've been worse. You could've seen the Garak/Bashir art.
Sisko: Chief, the situation has gotten worse. They've written stories about every major person on this station except
the Ferengi. Tell me you and Odo have any good news to report.
O'Brien: Sorry sir, I've manually checked over all the internet connections on the station. No one is using our systems or the systems of any ships docked here.
Sisko: Damn it! What about-
Kira: Hey Dax, why is this story about Curzon getting jamaharoned to death?
*Everyone stares at Dax*