Frankly, I think most of the anticipation has been built up by the fanbase and the press, not by Abrams or his people. So I don't think he's promised anything and then reneged on it. I think the fans and the press have just read a lot more into what's been said than what was actually there.
To an extent, maybe. But then you have the way Cumberbatch's role was kept secret when it was announced, with only vague hints about him being a "canon character." By the fall, Abrams finally officially announced the the character was "the villain," a truly pointless revelation since everyone had already guessed that anyway. And then finally he's revealed to be named John Harrison. The only canon character named Harrison in TOS is a backround extra who never had any dialogue.
Then there's the whole issue of whether Khan is going to be included in the movie or not, which I would have given a firm answer to first thing had I been calling the shots for this movie. Come on, if the answer is yes than you have everyone saying "hey cool, that was my favourite movie. It should be interesting to see what they do with this." If the answer is no then "Hmm, well maybe they're going to do their own thing. Should be interesting." Instead, we have no real clue at all about something which should be part of the plot synopsis.
Abrams and his minions are also known for screwing with their audience, like with Lost when they kept repeatedly denying the island was supposed to represent Purgatory, even though that's exactly how things played out by the end of the series.
So yes, maybe I am upset that things aren't going exactly the way I would have wanted them to, That still doesn't mean the fanbase isn't being screwed with all the same.