Re: Confessions: You do it and you know it is bad
You're going about it all wrong.
Bring some food in, lace it with laxative or habanero extract sauce. I think you'll figure out who the culprit is, not to mention your food will be safe going forward.
... but amusing. I shall consider trying it out.
Joseph Smith...MAGICAL AIDS FROG! —The Book of Mormon (Trey Parker & Matt Stone)
It was a nice day ... AND THEN EVIL CAME!— The Collected Works of Stephen King, condensed version