Picard: Okay, that last engagement was a disaster. Crewman, I told you to fire a warning shot across the Borg's nose, not up it!
Crewman: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Picard: Who gave that man a phaser?
Lt. Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Picard: Who is he?
Worf: He's an asshole, sir.
Picard: I know that! What's his name?
Worf: That is his name sir. Asshole, Lt. Asshole!
Picard: And his cousin?
Worf: He's an asshole too sir. Ensign Philip Asshole!
Picard: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Everyone other than Picard, Worf, and Data raise their phaser rifle]
Entire Security Detail: Yo!
Picard: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Alright, let's try this again, and keep firing, assholes!
Kirk: So, let me get this straight, we're in the 23rd Century and the most effective way you guys have to seal off quarters is some tape and a box with red and green lights? Where's the forcefield? Who's responsible for this piss-poor job of securing Spock's quarters?
Lt.: That would be me sir, Lt. Asshole.
Kirk: Forget it, I'm not doing this bit again...
Saavik: Mr. Spock, take a note: Chili night is to be cancelled from now on...