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Old January 13 2013, 01:25 PM   #5
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Location: Patrolling Sector 2814
Re: Movie Caption Contest #229:

Picard: Okay, that last engagement was a disaster. Crewman, I told you to fire a warning shot across the Borg's nose, not up it!

Crewman: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!

Picard: Who gave that man a phaser?

Lt. Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Picard: Who is he?

Worf: He's an asshole, sir.

Picard: I know that! What's his name?

Worf: That is his name sir. Asshole, Lt. Asshole!

Picard: And his cousin?

Worf: He's an asshole too sir. Ensign Philip Asshole!

Picard: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?

[Everyone other than Picard, Worf, and Data raise their phaser rifle]

Entire Security Detail: Yo!

Picard: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Alright, let's try this again, and keep firing, assholes!

Kirk: So, let me get this straight, we're in the 23rd Century and the most effective way you guys have to seal off quarters is some tape and a box with red and green lights? Where's the forcefield? Who's responsible for this piss-poor job of securing Spock's quarters?

Lt.: That would be me sir, Lt. Asshole.

Kirk: Forget it, I'm not doing this bit again...

Saavik: Mr. Spock, take a note: Chili night is to be cancelled from now on...
"When I reach for the edge of the universe, I do it knowing that along some paths of cosmic discovery, there are times when, at least for now, one must be content to love the questions themselves." --Neil deGrasse Tyson
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