Abrams Trek is Star Trek, and it is awesome.
Roddenberry Trek is Star Trek, and it is awesome.
Moore Trek is Star Trek, and it is awesome.
Berman/Braga Trek is Star Trek, and it is watchable.
They are all totally different Treks, IMO. If you see it that way you have no reason to get mad about contradictions. Trekkies love to see Star Trek as this one big unified universe, but what's the point? It's entertainment.
It's true you don't write a movie by bogging yourself down in series canon. But Nemesis did pretty poorly at the box office, no? There's a balance to strike between the two, weaving it into existing storylines and canon and still making it something that stands well on it's own. That's why First Contact was successful, it did exactly that. Nemesis...it carried all the bad weight from the series and none of the good weight, and carried itself out in a way that reminded you more of a B action flick except with old people than of Star Trek.
Abrams Trek...yeah, they tend to just beam in and shoot everyone instead of winning by superior wit like Kirk did. But it still captures the spirit of original Trek in a way that feels like a good
Sela in Nemesis? Well, would have been better than Picard's vampire half brother, at least.