1) How much their life suck when they've actually got it pretty good. "Oh you had a cry for two days cause you couldn't get an Iphone 4 the day of release. Shut Up!"
2) Why I have MS but refuse to apply for my social-security disability. This appears to be a common topic of conversation with one of my wife's new coworkers who is infinitely fascinated about me for some reason.
3) Money with anyone but the wife.
4) MS. I am more than the illness people.
5) Why I didn't marry a local girl.