All of the men Janeway likes are softer than her. She wants a homefires burning fellah. Kashyk was a dalliance with the bad boy but he's not someone she would ever set up house with. And Riker is neither of these things, not the genial handyman she prefers and not the dangerous bad boy she can have a little fantasy about. He's just a big, ape-ish, barking putz.