This isn't TOS and isn't meant to be. It's the result of five decades, more or less, of Trek's evolution as a narrative and in popular culture.
One can draw a line anywhere in Trek's narrative history - including right down the middle of TOS - and say "on this side lies the original presentation of Star Trek
and on this side lies later accretions/transformations/elaborations."
One example is Spock's troubled relationship with his father, something invented well after the character had been fleshed out and portrayed by Nimoy for quite some time. To have that - including fairly explicit references to an animated story produced years after TOS finished - reflected in the 2009 movie is to accept changes and additions to the narrative understanding of the character.
That movie also makes great use of the Kobayashi Maru
test which was introduced in 1982 as an insight into Kirk's essential character.
By the end of TOS Kirk had already become a (somewhat reflective) serial rule breaker. All of that is who Kirk is as a character now. To expect the producers and writers to discard everything about the character's evolution beyond some early line of demarcation is expecting them to hamstring themselves unnecessarily to no good effect in obeisance to a trivial sense of faux historicity.
The only place you'll ever see the TOS versions of these characters is in TOS itself.