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Old December 24 2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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The Voyager Christmas Special

It's Kris Kringle time on Voyager and everyone draws names from a Santa hat Paris has replicated for the occasion. After a week of madcap activity in which plots and plans are almost undone by bumbling merrymakers the crew (the ones that count at least) gather in Voyager's mess for an exchange of gifts. Leola root gingerbread men with pointy ears are passed around. The EMH generously provides a recording of himself singing Winter Wonderland until there's a mysterious tachyon burst which puts an end to it. There may be some real Saurian brandy in the punch.

Let the gift giving begin! Whose name did everyone get?

7: I prepared your gift after reviewing your personnel file. It seems your species highly values water judging by your over indulgence of this resource when you first came aboard. Hopefully you'll find this quantity useful in learning the skill of moderation.

7 thrusts a 300ml bottle of water into Neelix's hands.

Neelix: Oh umm.. I guess you must be quite pressed for time, I know stellar phenomenon keep you very busy..

7: If you are referring to the lack of paper around the gift, wrapping is irrelevant.

Janeway kneels and down and hands Naomi, who has been so excited by this evening she's almost bouncing, with a beautifully wrapped present. Naomi tears off the paper and holds out a real old fashioned book.

Janeway: My father gave me this book when I was just a little older than you Naomi. I couldn't think of a finer gift to pass on to a young woman with your promise. I hope you will you treasure this as I have.

Naomi, reading: Mycenaean Greece, Pre-Cursor to an Ancient World.

Janeway: The detail of the pottery is fascinating, we would spend hours pouring over the illustrations. To know our past Naomi is to truly know where we are going.

Naomi: To.. the Alpha Quadrant?

Neelix interrupts Naomi beaming and huffing as he clutches a lumpily wrapped gift.

Neelix: Ah Captain.. I have something for you and Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! A fine Solstice!

Janeway takes the gift from Neelix and unpeels several layers of paper. Inside it is a bulbous root.

: Not leola I hope?

Neelix: Oh no no Captain, something better. The Fafa root from Parthex, all the caffeine of a pot of coffee in every teaspoon! And already freeze dried so it will last indefinitely! This way you could add it to any beverage you like and have all the benefits of coffee!

Janeway fixes Neelix with the Death Glare.

: Are you telling me we are running out of coffee?

Neelix: Oh well no, not as such, there is a bit of a supply dip but engineering has been working double shifts to correct that deflector dish issue so there's been a bit more of a demand..

Janeway grasps Neelix's elbow and steers him towards the corner of the room.

Janeway: And that's precisely where this Fafa thing comes in Mr. Neelix..

Tuvok stands stiffly as Harry Kim passes him a small parcel.

Kim: Merry Christmas Tuvok!

: Yes, I have heard that is the case.

Kim: Well aren't you going to open your gift?

Tuvok untapes the paper and pulls out a pair of green wool socks.

: These are not regulation uniform.

Kim: It's for your days off. You know, for relaxing in.

Paris, overhearing: Aren't those the socks your mom made you bring with you Harry? The itchy ones you won't wear?

Harry stutters and mumbles.

Paris slaps Kim and Tuvok on the back simultaneously.

Paris: Never mind, I'm sure Vulcan feet are tough!

Kim: I still think you rigged it so you and B'Elanna got each other. What did you give each other anyway?

: A gentleman never tells Harry and speaking of which I think the Doctor is coming your way.

The Doctor presses a small device into Harry's hand.

Harry: Don't tell me, this is the hologram of you singing isn't it?

The Doctor
: Of course not Ensign, I have personalized this gift for you. It's not something everyone would appreciate. It's a hologram of myself playing all the clarinet pieces you've been working on. I'm hoping my naturally superior technique will be of use to you.

Harry: That's very thoughtful..

Paris: And it makes a great coaster too!

Tuvok approaches the Doctor who is swiveling his head from side to side looking to see who might be looking for him.

: I have spent some time thinking of your gift Doctor. It presented me with quite a challenge. I asked myself what would not be so easily acquired via replication or programming and I believe this is an apt choice.

Tuvok presents the Doctor with a Vulcan oil lamp.

Tuvok: Meditation may not be possible for a hologram, but I am willing to aid you should you choose to pursue such an endeavor.

The Doctor, squinting at the lamp: Oh, well it's quite rustic isn't it?

7 is suspiciously smelling a cup of egg nog when Naomi approaches with a plate covered by a napkin.

7: Naomi Wildman. Seasons Greetings is I believe an appropriate salutation.

Naomi: Yes. And well.. Neelix helped me with this but it was my own idea. It's a cake, a shortcake they call it. With strawberries. I know you like them.

7 takes the plate and underneath the napkin is revealed a lovely small cake with cream, covered in strawberries with a fork next to it. She dutifully takes a bite and pauses mid chew.

7: This cake is.. pleasing.

Naomi beams at her.

Merry Holidays Voyager forum!! I'm hanging a huge hunk of mistletoe over you all!!

Please post your Xmas VOY ideas

Oh and Lynx sorry Kes isn't in the Christmas Special, I hear she's very busy in a workshop making nifty things


You and Hitler oughta get together
You oughta learn to knit and wear matching sweaters
Janeway does Melbourne

Last edited by teacake; December 24 2012 at 03:08 PM.
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