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Old November 30 2012, 07:06 PM   #82
thestrangequark
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Re: How do you deal with Depression?

^You cannot control what the world does, but you can control how you react. You could go back to therapy and continue getting help for your eating and spending problems. You could start a diet and exercise routine. There are many things that you can do to make your life better, and there's no shame in asking for help.

When I was 12 I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, the same disease that killed my older brother when he was 16. Of course, I knew even then that I would die of it someday, and that for the rest of my life I would have to be on a strict diet and exercise regimin, I'd no longer be carefree about my health as kids are. When I was 26 I realized that despite all the hard work I was doing, my blood sugars were still going to go out of control. I was frustrated, and for the first time, angry at having gotten this disease. I didn't have control over anything, and everything sucked (not just the diabetes, a lot about my life was difficult). I was 15lbs overweight and I hated it, but despite my strict diet and exercise I couldn't lose it. So, I did what you're recommending. I gave up. I took the control over the one thing I could -- I stopped taking insulin.
The excess weight melted off in two weeks. I could eat whatever I wanted. I could live like everyone else. Of course, I knew in the back of my head that I was killing myself, but I just pushed that thought aside. What's the point if I can't control anything anyway? Inevitably, everything went to shit. Two months later, I nearly died, was in intensive care for days, and it took over a year to fully recover.
Giving up makes things worse, not better.
It took me awhile to understand that the fact that life isn't fair, and is beyond our control, is a good thing. It's an empowering thing. What a horrible world if life were fair! If every Paris Hilton deserved their fortune and every starving child deserved their plight! If you embue every moment and aspect of your life with meaning then all you see is punishment and reward, seemingly dealt to the least-deserving people. But if you recognize it for what it is, a tiny, meaningless flash in the middle of an incomprehensibly huge explosion, you can see that what meaning it holds is yours to determine. Just because life will shit on you sometimes doesn't mean you need to help it take down its pants and squat.
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