Donald Draper wrote:
THe reason I started this thread, I mean what motivated me that day was my job had reduced my work hours. RIght after somebody sided swiped me. I was lucky, it just cracked my headlight.
But I just did not know now to deal with it. I got all nervous that day. It was the guys fault all he got was some scratches. So I drove off. I am living in a new state, I got out of state plates. If the cops got involved it would have increased my parents car insurance which I am on.
Little things. But things I have to worry about. It is situational. I worry about things I am not sure what I am supposed to do about.
On top of that. Ok I have 6 years of janitorial work. So when I moved it was easy to find something like that. Low pay, part time. A start.
Than the store I worked at needed a security guard too. So I was great more hours, work experience. But I probably not someone who should have taken it.
Generally it easy, at worst boring. Just a greater at the front of the store. Last night a guy gave every sign he was a shop lifter. Just asking for a receipt got him really mad. I radioed for my supervisor and held his arm to stop him. The guy hit me in the jaw and than went back to look for it. Than he hit some young kid, 16 years old, even though he had pay for it. Than all these other employees get in a fight with this guy.
The guy drove off before the police showed up. We had his plate number. The cops said they could not do anything. I should not have tired to stop him even though he was acting like a shoplifter. So it cancelled out that he hit a minor for no reason!
I don't think I am trouble. But it makes me wonder if this job is worth. Before this the owner of the store had cut my hours. The manager said the owner no longer wanted me to do security. He would not tell me why but I think I know.
After the election out of no where this older owner made a snide comment about how he knows I voted for Obama, thats why I have this job. Meaning a small job like a cleaner. I never talk politics at work. So he knows because of my bumper stickers.
So I have no idea what will happen now. How the owner will react now. I would be happy to just do the just I was hired for cleaning. In a perfect world I will get a call for one of the better jobs I have applied for sense I moved at the end of July.
But I need money.... I am living with my sister. Even given that her brother almost died a year ago. She seems more concerned about getting monthly rent than the stress this is giving me. So I supposed to just silently suffer though this.
In the long run this will blow over. But also over time stuff like this builds up under the surface. Creating a distrust and resentment to people.
It hard for me to enjoy stuff when my whole life is controlled by stuff I have no control of.
Dude I know the feeling!
My life is equally a mees.
I have no friends, never been on a date (can't even get partners for the meaningless sex thing either), and the only way I cope is by eating and spending money on stuff I don't need with cash I should be saving. At work I get to hear about everyone's dating life, about all the new babies people are having, the houses they are buying and see all of the newlyweds.
Its kind of an endless spiral that does not have a resolution. Medication and therapy cannot erase the fact that my life is prerry empty and generally sucks.
That's why I stopped medication and therapy. Once you realise that you cannot control the way the world responds to you it all strats to feel pretty pointless.