Its not like the Vulcans physically restrained humanity form exploring space they just strongly advised against and the earth government chose to defer to the Vulcans judgement.
I think one element was the Vulcans refusing to give them any technical help on anything they were developing and refusing to share their database with them, the database being everything they knew about other races, star systems etc.. I think they would have made it clear that if mankind took off before they had Vulcan approval they could forget about any help or backup should they get into a jam. They may have provided some assistance on tech matters with the proviso that the assistance would be withdrawn if earth didn't follow their timetable. Vulcans live a lot longer and have a much more sedate and plodding pace in regards to new developments as well as not being naturally explorers. I'd imagine they saw mankind as over eager 5 year olds and earth saw them as killjoy parents.
All of that leads to resentment if that's the climate of your planets development of warp capable ships from the point of First Contact onwards.
Also why did they kill off the female suliban mere moments after she was introduced? She would have been a cool character to keep around it would have been interesting to have her backstory and motivations for working against her people more fully explored.
Not only that but she was the beautiful Melinda Clarke!!