I'd like to see a little more common sense. Like wearing something resembling armor if they're going into a firefight.
I wouldn't particularly care to see BSG style militarism though.
Agreed. Just a bit more competence and readiness wouldn't hurt. Stuff that's important for them being good and competent at their actual jobs (and combat/defense definitely is one of those jobs), not stuff that's just posturing, tradition and formality for it's own sake.
But otherwise, I'm fine with Starfleet being a more relaxed military. I actually quite like the idea of Starfleet being a fundamentally different kind of military for a fundamentally different kind of society, it makes Starfleet itself an interesting science-fictional concept (in the sense of social sciences, not hard sciences, obviously) and not just "present-day-preferably-American-military-IN-SPACE!". And in-universe, seeing how Starfleet is a multi-species organization of unprecedented diversity and size, I'd argue flexibility and informality would actually be neccessary
for it's proper functioning.
EDIT: Just to add, I understand that a lot of the seemingly pointless traditionalism and formality in today's militaries isn't just for it's own sake but is actually important for building discipline, morale and esprit-de-corps. But that's where the "different military for a different society" comes in. Starfleet is the military of a post-scarcity near-utopia. People that join it do it truly of their own volition. There's no conscription, they don't join it because they're poor or for any other economic reason. Plus, it has a pool of probably at least a trillion well-educated people to recruit from. Even at the highest reasonable estimate of Starfleet's size, it means it can pick and choose like no other military can. As a result, Starfleet should be an elite force made almost completely of top-quality people that already fully believe in Starfleet's mission and values and are fully devoted to them (which might explain some of that occasional smugness
). The need for any further indoctrination or disciplining would be small.