Donald Draper wrote:
I do know depression is common after an event like this. But I always had certain level of depression and other issues.
It still might be worthwhile to seek support with a group that understand the specific struggles of overcoming an injury like yours. There are many out there, online and IRL -- something to think about!
If I had made better choices none of this would have happened. I should have never have dated that girl. I had money issues because I had to make changes at work due to anxiety problems. I was saddled with a supervisor position I did not ask and did not do well. So I asked to transferred to a lower paying job.
Sadly this is true for pretty much everyone, though. Apologies for dipping into trite cliche's, but "hindsight is 20/20," is pretty spot on. The only thing one can really do is to learn from one's mistakes. You fucked-up, make sure you are wiser for it.
You are right though. That i made it this far is amazing. Its made me question whether my problems were what I thought. Maybe i just have too high standards for myself. Also I don't have much tolerate for other peoples BS. Unfortunately the world is full of morons and assholes.
It really is
I think that having overly high standards for oneself is fairly common. For many people, the hardest thing to do is to learn how to treat yourself with kindness. I am the same way, I can be despicably cruel to myself. I spent much of my life treating myself in ways I would never treat another. I'm still trying to stop, by reminding myself that I would never be as strict or punishing to someone else as I am with myself, that I'd never call someone else the kinds of names or say, or even think
the kinds of things I say and think about myself.
These things you are going through are things that many other people can understand, and can help you with. As long as you're open and willing to try.