Donald Draper wrote:
Plus I always figure I have a hard enough time controlling how I feel and concentrating having outside substances would make it harder.
Most medication does not control
how you feel. It can, however, make it easier to ignore or reduce unhelpful emotions so you can focus on important things without that distraction. It's pretty much the opposite of what you're saying here: what's making it harder is an imbalance in your brain. Fixing that imbalance makes it easier.
The first medication you try might not be the one you need, of course. You'll have to work with a psychiatrist to figure it out. But it can help.
The one I linked to earlier, EMPower, is not really an anti-depressant. It's almost just a multi-vitamin, in fact, pretty lightweight as far as meds go.....but it has proven very effective for a lot of people with mood problems.