Don't write off therapy. Hubby and I saw someone once every two weeks for a couple of years, tackling "our" issues, "his" issues, and "my" issues. We cleared out a lot of things, and used that as the basis for working on other issues. But, naturally, not everything was addressed.
BUT...since we cleared out some current issues, addressed a few old baggage issues, it allowed me, when I saw a shrink by myself years later (when I got diagnosed), to not have to worry about all that. Now, I was tackling the BIG stuff, even though I thought the prior issues were the big stuff. I found out a lot of this was more like side-effects of the big issues, the physiological ones.
I would not have been able to address the physiological ones before, because they were covered by all these others. It takes years(!), it took me 15 years, but keep going.