My first experience with therapy was in 2000. Nice woman but she seemed be too focused on current issues in my life at the time. Not really understanding the picture long term issues.
Than I moved and it was a while before I saw someone. Than i saw this guy for over a year. I never really liked him. Looking back I am not proad with how I acted toward him. I really vented on him, I mean real rage, for everything. But some of it was deserved. I stayed on for so long because he said I would be part of a job assistance program. But it was discontinued and he waited to tell.
I tried medication. Never seem to do much. Like I said I never got a diagnosis. While I do have a family history, more and more I think its mostly situational.
In general I am suspicious of medication. I don't drink, smoke do anything. Mostly because I was the stereotypical geek as a kid and did not social like that. Plus I always figure I have a hard enough time controlling how I feel and concentrating having outside substances would make it harder.
So given the accident I had, you can imagine the amount of meds I was put on. It was a shock for someone who never took anything. Now I am on anti seizure meds. Those have been slowly reduced. I need to see a specialist soon. Hopefully I can be take off the stuff completely.
After seeing that last therapist 2006 I starting volunteering at local Art Museum. Mostly working with kids. That did more for me than therapy ever did. I did not get a driver's license until I was 28. But that changed things. I got a job out of the family, got a personal behind the wheel teacher. About 4 years ago I lost around 100 pounds.
I did over do it though. Over the course of 2010 working out took over my whole life. It was way of proving to others and myself I could do anything. I eventually I leveled it off.
The last year has been hard because I have to really limit my physical activity. Now things are close to normal that I can start again.
Yeah, I need friends. Thats always been the great mystery of life to me. I never been good at it. I been trying. Even posting all this is an attempt.