Re: "There's turkeys in there, now. Real turkeys!"
For side dishes, colored food cubes. Lots of different-colored food cubes. Just make them taste like yams or cornbread or cranberry sauce.
And they even have a name for it! It's called gristhera
. Apparently it's an Andorian invention. Very popular with aliens, which is why it's always being served at diplomatic functions...
In labor news: Longshoremen walked off the piers today. Rescue operations are continuing.