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Old November 13 2012, 04:42 PM   #92
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Location: Washington State
Re: I need to run this by some people...

teacake wrote: View Post
Ideally the coffee would be in take away cup (I forget what you call this in america, my automatic translation is on the fritz) and you would be walking down a pier or along a beach. That gives you the activity Gaith so highly values in his Guide.
For sure. I fully approve of a coffee first date if you've got some good scenery to walk along; it's the sitting in a Starbucks or even a nicer cafe drinking an upper I object to.

Kommander wrote: View Post
If it's a first date, I'd say that coffee isn't only a good idea, but the only acceptable one ....

Most of this is true of bars as well, but drinking on a first date can be risky for a first date. Alcohol helps people relax, but it changes behavior in other ways, especially with judgment abilities. Say the date ends with sex. The next morning things might be fine, but it can also be awkward, and might even be rape.
I've done a number of late afternoon/early evening bar first dates, and I assure you they're entirely acceptable. Also, and I mention this in the Guide, if you're boozing on a date, be an adult and pace yourself. I've found that, unless one party's really disinterested in the other, most gals will stick around for two drinks, perfect for a nice, mellow buzz in the $10 range. Assuming the first, maybe only date runs under two hours, leaving you with a fairly full evening to fill, I'd far rather be left with a nice buzz than a caffeine energy jolt.

And if a sane-seeming mildly buzzed gal happens to go home with you, the chances of her crying rape the next day are, happily, small enough to be negligible. And if she crosses the line into drunkenness on the way/once you've arrived, calling her a cab (because remember, you're still only responsibly buzzed yourself) will demonstrate your decency and trustworthiness. I'd call that a win-win myself...

Kommander wrote: View Post
So I thought, people that like Renaissance Faires generally like chainmail as well, I make chainmail, so I made her some bracelets. It was very thoughtful and an awesome thing for me to do. Of course, had I hesitated and made a thread about it, I'm sure some people would be telling me it was a creepy thing to do and I should just ask her out for coffee.
And yet, if you'd taken that hypothetical advice, this gal might have become your girlfriend by now.
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