That's cool. I know there's a lot of stress and anxiety involved so if it helps you calm down, that works. I'd just personally be confused and want to define things just so I knew we were on the same page. Also I get that you want to be a sex therapist, but maybe separate that from your own personal life a little bit? Apologies if that's out of line!
I'm the same way. I like to have a good idea what the situation is. The problem is, whenever I date someone or enter into a relationship, communication breaks down. Trying to rebuild good communication just pisses her off, because apparently I'm supposed to figure out what she wants on my own without asking. I should probably just stop dating women like that, although I really have no way of knowing until it happens. I can probably deal with it okay.
And yeah, I wish I could stop applying psychology to my personal life. However, my brain does not shut off, ever, and trying not to do it just causes me do it more.
Oh, I thought I should mention. I'm not anxious because I'm afraid she's not interested. Rejection I can handle, and I don't really see a lack of romantic interest as rejection anyway. I'm anxious because I'm afraid that she is interested, and I start recalling how bad my previous relationships were, that I haven't learned anything, and it's going to end up being bad again. If I can manage to experience a decent relationship for once, this will probably stop happening, and that's why I keep trying.
Oh I'm sure he's heard "those who can't do, teach" rather a lot.
There's a difference between being unable to do something, and being extremely terrible at something. Spend enough time doing something the wrong way, and eventually I'll make all the mistakes and then have no option but to do things the right way. At least, I hope that's how it works.