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Old November 9 2012, 03:54 AM   #23
Kommander
Commodore
 
Location: Detroit
Re: I need to run this by some people...

sojourner wrote: View Post
"Spend some time together outside of class", sounds like a date to me.

You "hate dating" is odd. Dating is just doing things together. So do you plan to never share a movie with her? Get a bite to eat at the same time and place?
If that's the case, why is it that if a mono girl has a boyfriend, she feels that going on a date with me is inappropriate, but spending time together is okay? Or why when I ask girls to meet me somewhere, sometimes they say something like "you mean, like a date?" Dating is courtship, essentially. There's expectation, a loose protocol to follow. I'd rather not do that.

So yeah, its still dating, I'm just calling it something different and pretending it's not dating. It's purely a marketing move in hopes of avoiding bullshit.

I don't want to default to the social script. The script that says dating should be a certain way, and that relationships should progress at a certain rate. By asking girls on "dates," I'm starting off following the script and then immediately deviating from it, which can be confusing. I'm better off throwing away the script from the start. When I "ask girls out," and follow the script, I've never gotten to a second date. The girls I've been romantically involved with I never really "dated." We'd spend time together for some other reason: school, mutual friends, that kind of thing. The mutual interest became apparent, they dropped hints, I ignored the hints, they got frustrated that I didn't make a move, and then made one themselves. Instead of "dating," I need to just learn to not ignore hints and make a move when I'm in that situation.
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