That's why Saavik can't look Spock in the eyes at the end and looks down instead!
Maybe a little Romulan shame from applying the Vulcan principle of "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one?" Saavik saved Spock's life at the cost of her own shame while doing so? (But, yes, I agree the pon farr thing is hard to explain if
Spock was Saavik's father.)
I would love to see this as her back story. The relationship between the Romulan Commander and Spock would nicely parallel Kirk-Carl-David story. Especially since we never meet Dr. Marcus in the TOS.
AS far as the Pon Farr aspect of STIII, that was just odd no matter how you slice it. I mean Spock was aging like a year an hour or something, shouldn't he have passed through the whole stage too quickly to have even felt the effects?