Huh? I never defended the rapist dude one bit. I just said that his crime doesn't change the fact that, by what we learn in "Stigma", Polly was irresponsible with regards to her own health by willingly engaging, before the encounter turned ugly, in a potentially dangerous act without getting him screened.
T'POL: Mind meld?
TOLARIS: It's an ancient technique. It was abandoned centuries ago, but we've discovered that it can help us access our emotions.
T'POL: How does it work?
TOLARIS: I'd begin by creating a telepathic link. We would be able to share our memories, our thoughts. In essence, we would become one mind. It's quite an experience, but it is profoundly intimate. Are you prepared for that? If you'd like, we could try a more traditional form of guided meditation but it wouldn't be nearly as effective.
It doesn't appear to me that Tolaris describe a "potentially dangerous act," so I wouldn't say that T'Pol willingly agreed to that. As far as she was told, it would be an "intimate" telepathic link involving mingled thoughts and memories.
So, to me, not only did Tolaris force her to continue despite her protest to stop, but he also misrepresented what he intended to do via mindmeld, i.e., using her memories to feed his creepy addiction to emotions.